Drowning In His Grace

A few days ago, I got out of an adolescant behavioral facility and I am anabsolutely NEW person. God has done such an amazing work in me. It is so unreal how much he has done in me. I feel brand new. Life has meaning andpurpose and I want to live. I look forward to each day!! Everyday is a new adventure for me and I absolutely love it!! I have found myself and I havefound who I am in Christ.5 months ago I checked into Willow Crest hospital. I thought that I wasbeyond repair and that I was just going to be a suicidal cutter for therest of my life. Boy, did God prove me wrong.60 days ago I decided to make not only myself and my grandma a promise,but also God. My grandma was on her death bed and her last wish was to see me free. I cried out to God and asked for help. I told him that I had strayed away, but I was ready to come home. From that day on, I read mybible everyday, I listened to christian music, and prayed continuously.God reached down his hands and picked me up. He gave me a revelation of how much he loved me and how much he so desired for me to be free. I realized that I had been searching everywhere for someone who could saveme. I was looking to people and to the ways of the world. I was depending on people and not on the one that I should have been depending on. So.. I decided that I was going to start depending on God only and I was going toput my life in his hands.After I made that decision my whole life changed. I started feeling joy and freedom and peace for the first time in my life. My whole mood and affect changed. I was finally making steps forward and for the first time,I was loving life and myself. I cant even explain to you what God has done in me. He has given me a true freedom and joy and a peace I have never known. I love life and I love myself. I love God with all my heart and Icant wait to see what he has in store for me!!I haven't cut in 60 days. I havent gone that long without cutting in 5 years. The last 60 days have been hard. My grandma passed away and my parents divorce was finalized. Things havent been peachy, but I am finding balance and I am finding the positive in even the negative situations. Irealize that life isnt going to be easy, but with God on my side I can getthrough anything and everything. Life means so much to me and I countevery day as a blessing from above.God is AMAZING!! All the glory goes to him and him only!!